Learn4 min
💜 Disorganised attachment
When the wish for closeness and the fear of it arrive together.
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Disorganised patterns are often described where the same person was both the source of comfort and the source of fear. Two responses that both make sense — move toward, move away — can then arrive at once.
This pattern can sometimes involve
- Wanting closeness while fearing it in the same moment
- Push-pull patterns that can be confusing from the inside too
- Difficulty trusting that safety will hold
- Emotional overwhelm that arrives quickly
- Conflicting responses to the same situation
- A sense that connection and danger are hard to tell apart
This is often the pattern most closely linked with trauma, and the one where working with a trauma-informed therapist tends to help most. Nothing here is a substitute for that support.