Breaking contact patterns

• Card 1

  Reducing or ending contact with someone you're bonded to is rarely a single clean decision — it's often a series of small, imperfect steps, sometimes with setbacks along the way. Setbacks don't erase progress; they're a normal part of unwinding a strong attachment.

• Card 2

  Ideas that some people find helpful

  1. 1Decide your baseline in advanceWhat contact, if any, are you choosing — no contact, low contact, or structured contact for practical reasons?
  2. 2Reduce access pointsMuting, blocking or archiving can lower the number of moments where a decision has to be remade.
  3. 3Tell one trusted person your planSo there's somewhere to turn to instead of reaching out to them in a hard moment.
  4. 4Prepare for urges, not just the decisionHave something ready for the moment the urge hits — a person to call, a grounding tool, a place to go.
  5. 5Expect it to feel harder before it feels easierThis is a known part of the process, not a sign you're doing it wrong.
  6. 6Be honest with yourself about slips, without punishing yourselfA slip is information, not proof of failure.

  If contact involves any risk to your safety — including shared children, finances, housing or fear of retaliation — please see our Crisis Resources page for specialist domestic abuse support. You know your situation best, and this page cannot tell you whether to stay in contact or not.

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