Intermittent reinforcement

• Card 1

  Intermittent reinforcement is a well-studied psychological principle: rewards that arrive unpredictably create stronger, more persistent behaviour than rewards that arrive every time. This is part of why fruit machines are compelling and why an on-off relationship can feel more gripping than a steady, reliable one.

• Card 2

  In a relationship, this can look like affection, apology or attention that only arrives sometimes — often just after a period of hurt or distance. The nervous system can begin to chase that relief the way it might chase any unpredictable reward, searching for what it needs to do to bring the good version back.

• Card 3

  A pattern some people recognise

  1. Tension builds
     ↓
  2. Something painful happens
     ↓
  3. A period of distance, silence or fear
     ↓
  4. An apology, affection, or return of warmth
     ↓
  5. Relief — and hope that this time it will last
     ↓
  6. Tension slowly begins to build again

  Recognising this pattern in a relationship is educational, not a verdict on the other person's character or intentions. It describes a dynamic, and dynamics can be understood without needing to diagnose anyone.

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