Practice7 min
Repair after conflict
A step-by-step way to reconnect once things have settled.
Repair matters more than avoiding conflict altogether. Relationships that repair well after rupture often build more trust than ones that rarely disagree.
- 1Wait until both people are settledRepair rarely works while either person is still activated.
- 2Name your part specificallyRather than a general "sorry for everything."
- 3Share what you were protecting"I went quiet because I felt overwhelmed, not because I didn't care."
- 4Ask what it was like for themAnd let the answer land before defending yourself.
- 5Agree one small, specific changeSomething realistic enough to actually happen next time.
Repair is a skill both people build together over time. One good repair does not undo a pattern, and one missed repair does not ruin things either.
You might explore these in your own words — there is no right answer, and stopping partway is completely fine.